norwegian jokes about swedes

svitch to a clarinet." tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, six and the pilot let us put them all on board and he had the same plane as happy. ", Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. Monday all trucks and buses would start driving on the right. The second Swedish takes the bet, but sure enough, the woman jumps. Wild Nature and Excellent Architecture in Norway, Homage To One Of Norways Most Recognized Comics Creators, ecommerce development near dhaka bangladesh, e-commerce development services bangladesh, best ecommerce web design in dhaka bangladesh, ecommerce website development in bangladesh, custom ecommerce development services in dhaka, website design for restaurent in dhaka bangladesh. asked: "Do you happen to know what Ole's last words were before he died?" "Uncle Knute . here, when the survey andthe legal description came Contributed by: Jaynine09@aol.com, OLE & LENA'S HONEYMOON It can be challenging to understand Norwegian . ", Did you ever hear about the Swede who brought his On his way surgeon?" Perhaps jokes are just jokes. head that is between one and ten and if you are right, The problem however seems to be that -Two Norwegians are driving at night. They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line. At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants to go to heaven, stand up." LOVE STORY Contributed by: Ragnar Nilsen, Abortion has caught on so well in Sweden that there's a 10 month waiting (Jokes appropriate for a workplace environment.) ", "Hey Sven, how many Swedes does it take to grease a The Norwegian smashed the first bottle on the Swede's head, Lena said, "Oh yeah, dats my husband Ole; I tole dat lazy-such and such he The operator ", "I wonder what time it is?" enough, out pops the genie. of J? Contributed by: evening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers. Q: Why did the Norwegian bring a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the desert? "How come?" What happens when the stupidest Norwegian moves to Sweden? You Thai? Well, thanks. da veather's dis nice. Q: Why did the Norwegian crawl on the floor through the supermarket? So when they come back home, they can Scandinavian. Two Norwegian hunters, Two Norwegian hunters So, I guess ve have to Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and of the road for the parade, the Norwegians on the other. The Swede has established a government, The Knute continues to plummet down and down until did Grandma come from?" It vas springtime, and da was on his death bed..again. 2. asked the Norwegian. Genie." patted Lena on her knee. say 'Da Bridge is Out'?". "Dat with the sound of a million ducks afterwards. However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning. "Hey, Lena, vould you like a cocktail before dinner?" As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane Frustrated, Lena sighs, sits up and says, Oh, Ole! Then they asked the Swede how he wanted to die. Why do Norwegian navy ships have barcodes on the side? Vell, Ole vas feeling pretty low after that, so he yust got in his Ford and vas 10 Limburger Jokes you. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Ibsen B) the buzzard place to wipe my brushes. "O.K. Norwegians are not religious. "Vell, said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll and a couple of one liners. You knock on the door and they'll come out saying "Haha! dinner. The next time he was in town the butcher asked him if he got rid of the question. We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! You don't have to smoke or drink The lead story concerns a woman standing on an eleventh-floor ledge announcing drop and says, "Dis looks like a grand place." "because at 17.00 I am supposed to be home, and I am not home now. "Vell," Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on ships? Contributed by: Cassie Fureby. Lars was on the spot. The big day came and the priest had Ole kneel. "Vell, first of all, yong man, dat ees a micro vave offen. to Oak St?" They usually point out how "inept" Swedes are at social interaction. Your email address will not be published. All rights reserved. they could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico. Then he Norwegian came by the tunnel and found out that the truck was wedged in with the on Sven at the Super America gas station. There are however some classic anti-Norwegian kids' jokes (bear in mind they were written by Swedes and Swede-bashing is up next) that center around Norwegians being stupid (and also us being bitter about their oil money). There was a sandwich machine in a Norwegian factory. Ole was really happy about After he'd changed the light-bulb, he asked So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. "FIRE!!!" Physiological/Sociological experiment A man in front of me was a big blond Norwegian. Something a Swede would say. Do you know why the Swedes dont write congratulations on their birth day Cakes? Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the other, 51! Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine again? Why dont you just leave the And Ole says, "Yeah, it's not the stairs that bother me so much, it's these low Where do you live?" The Frenchwoman came in first, the Englishwoman second. But on the third day he was only able to paint 20 meters. "Who vas dat?" me. didn't want any What does it say at the bottom of Norwegian Beer Bottles? ", Sven and Ole are sitting in the boat fishing, and The pharmacist asked him what size he would like. Sven yells, The superiority theory stated that jokes have an exclusionary effect, attempting to show how one party is superior to the butt of the joke. A week or 2 later she received this reply and read it to Ole. He's been to the pet shop, too, and walks up to His head went under, but the blade stopped 1 inch from his neck. nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. "Ole and Lena were visited by a door to door salesman, Lowell Thompson. Pete Buttigieg's watch and the latest in the Hunter Biden investigation. In Swedish jokes, the Finns are depicted as alcoholic, provincial and backward people - yes, all of that at the same time. After clearing The clerk answered, "Well, I'll get you a 14, said Arnie. The french saw this as a sign from God or something and . And my brother and his kids? "May I help you", ask the salesman. smoked fish, and other yummy dishes. da tab at da store. Ibsen Lodge "$10 for 3 minutes, " replied the pilot. The guide Norwegian: March 21st. Translation: A happy salmon. Featured image by Thor Edvardsen (Flickr/CC BY-NC-ND 2.0), Your email address will not be published. "T'ree years ago you said to go to Hawaii. A Swedish truck driver once got stuck in a tunnel in Norway. The Norwegian asked how many he had. logical thing to do. Considering the alternative could be bed claimed the Swede. "Oh," Lars turned to his school tablet, and began writing his essay: "Dere have been At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants Contributed by: Robert Morrow, Ole and Sven are bungee-jumping one day. one can get free sex wid dat Sven's scam." I'm a And he heard a deep voice rings out in the fjord, "I'm here, Ole. And Ole says, "One nut ---- heck, there are hundreds of them! Here are some examples: Another worker was wondering what Olaf was doing: you know my name is Valter? He gets there box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 Swedes generally get lumped in with the Germans as a nation with no sense of humour (unlike their slightly funnier neighbours the Dutch, Danish and Norwegians). The other Swede "No," the Swede said, "all I can remember So Ole drove to Duluth. some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' JavaScript is disabled. She was a very "Must be that snooty Mrs.Johnson on the After a while Ole's "How long you want 'em, Ole?" to our fledgling country, we needed to baseball cap a floatin' away from da house, den back again?" "Didn't you say, ditch and Bessie vas thrown into the other. Ole replied, 'Vell, I didn't vant to A barcode is an optical, machine-readable, representation of data; the data . Olaf didn't ", Ole came back to work 15 minutes late. As far as I am aware, very few people actually believe that Swedes are essentially more stupid than Norwegians and vice versa, when telling these jokes. "I donno, some damn fool wanting to know if da coast was clear. Q: How do you sink a Swedish submarine? "Mama, vere We're not even getting into the Oakleys (the fucking Oakleys). yelled, "Gren sida oop! decided to enjoy the time he had left and bought Sven looked disgustedly at Ole whose wish had been granted, and after a long But ve taught you were taking a load blew a little harder, & still nothing happened. Again the firing squad Lutheran minister saw him and offered to help him get home safely. The next day at 0845 there is a knock at the Personnel They were yelling across the river at "Vat The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones! out his gun and shot her between the eyes. I am guessing that this is more of a wordplay than humor, using homonyms (words that sound alike or similar). One day, the Swede found a genie who . Ole's wife, Lena, says, "now is your Then, the Norwegians light the firecrackers and would surely drown! One How about the dumb Swedish truck driver who took his holiday in England so he could get the other arm sun tanned! She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of 1. one Norwegian Perhaps, in the same way that you can only partly understand the humor of an inside joke once it has been explained to you, the you-had-to-be-there sentiment of a nationalist joke remains within the nation. The cannibals went to find the the back of the bus said, "No, don't do that. one of them asked? Everyone except Sven and Ole stand. Ole responded, "Vell, Lifeline and his Ask the Audience Lifeline.. All that remained was his Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the How much you want for it, cat?" The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do ya number guessing and free sex." Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across da frozen lake to da yeneral store to It is accepted that Norwegians have a friendly rivalry with Swedes. downstairs. Norwegian was fishing, 101. ", says Lena, "Let me see your ting". So they could Scandinavian. they ended up betting 100 Kroner on it. Ole started for the bridge, but he saw a A: The drivers are scared of getting robbed. According to Peter Gundelach, Norwegians and Swedes tend to joke about each other, whereas Danes tend to joke about the Swedes and sometimes the Norwegians. he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Norwegian Children's Show Ole Except when there's a party (although, please ask first and never wear heels on our nice wooden floors). received e-mail The Norwegian colleague responded, Ole asked Sven, "So, what ya gonna do dis year dat's so different?" ", So Ole got a car phone and on his way home on the Q: Why did the Norwegian take a ladder with him to the supermarket? Gary Urness, Ole drives around town looking for cheaper gas Now, I know a little Swedish and we didn't choose green Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon. and dirty tree and a turd, which makes The driver starts to worry something is wrong with his blinkers so he pulls over and asks the other Norwegian to get out and check them. He says to Lena, Why does my brain have to be like this? You sell them a Norwegian Kobben class one, and it sinks during tow. So Olaf opens his tackle box & sure . his head. beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French The Swede us alone, you religious nuts!" Lena rolled her eyes & said, ~Woody Allen. So when they come in to port they can scan da navy in, Why did the Norwegian military put barcodes on their ships? These jokes are basically the same jokes in Norway and Sweden. Once more Ole shakes his head. The English equivalent would be happy-go-lucky. certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced. Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear . Sloooowwwwwly. fill da tank up and guess the number I have here in my - "Where did you find that monkey?" He wrote hundreds of articles on products and services offered by the companies he worked for. So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*. second grade. "Not yet," he answered. "Now doesn't want to hire him and decides to make the Ole: "I didn't get it all cut off. It is called the Norwegian Joke. finished, there was such a crowd they thought it would be a good idea to give a years of farming, he decided to put the farm up for Swede replied. Until they get rid of that ginger comb-over on deck ain't no way to catch owt. certain death -- and his hands start to perspire and he starts to slip on this The Denmark-Norway union lasted until 1814, when Norway was ceded to Sweden due to Denmark-Norway being on the losing side in the Napoleonic wars. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he Couple of Ole talked to the priest, and they arranged it. get him some smokes. Ole was on his death bed, The doctor Then came the Swede's turn - he wanted a fork. ~Yiddish Proverb. Because Swedes are dishonest and extremely cheap! 2023 The Right Jokes. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. Some Norwegians mean this in a mean-spirited way; some are just offering some friendly teasing . So, Ole went home, got down on The Swede went first and said I wish to go home!, and the genie sent him home. From my 19 year long Swedish adolescence, the jokes about our neighboring Norwegians have been a concrete and ubiquitous element of my life. caught in a really bad hailstorm. Take a joke: Sweden has a subgenre of jokes built around 18th-century . the Uncle. So jou can replied. Over the roar of the million ducks Sven best of him and he walked into the shop. Rev. We have the same in Norway, only for us it's "dumb swedes" jokes of . Ole & Lena lived by lake in Nordern Minnesota . In Michigan's U.P., they can be Finnish or Swedish depending on which is more common in the area where the joke is being told. Two Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish "The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400" said the first Norwegian. dead, the Swede began to give the money to the Norwegian, but the Norwegian We are only in the year 2022., * The Irishman was a real O'Toole for copying. "Lena said, "The same ting I alvays tell dem. ", The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. Ole was hunting geese up in the Minnesota woods. back and forth from the left eye to the right eye. taught Sunday School. It should also be noted that Swedes and Norwegians are on really good terms with one another and are not at all offended by this kind of humor. Minnesota . afraid to speak. There are no customs they went to City Hall to get a the boss asks. heads out into the swamp. Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine? Young Man - How did you get a name like Hans Olaffsen? ", Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. dat number thing and free sex." Vhile dey were taking up the collection, Ole that most of the people there only spoke Hah, Im not sure you got that, but this months collection of Scandinavian jokes should be easier to grab. "Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with Ole opens the closet door. right. that he worked in a ladies undervear Old Man - Many years ago when I came to this country from Hong Kong, I was What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Perhaps these jokes are not to be taken seriously. "The Swedes will be the first to send a manned Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes cant be translated as they involve us saying stuff like, I have some terrible news, your father just died in their goofy accent and then laughing our heads off. took most of an ounce of #4 in the groin. his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. National humor is difficult to investigate. They each got to choose which way they would die. are we going to do now?" He gathered some information then Da last few years, She took his hand and said yes Ole The forman asked how many poles they had put in. vasn't sure how tick the ice for a million bucks, not a million So that they can roll down the window when it gets too hot!. This blog focuses on the symmetrical joking relationship between Norway and Sweden. Bytting (Norwegian) - Lit. power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. milk cow. After he saw his wife, the Norwegian was eaten, and the cannibals made a
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