Its now Tuesday, nothing. My biggest obstacles are, if I make new friends or find a new boyfriend someday, how long before Im labeled as a b**ch and rejected all over again. Were both in college and when we started dating we were together all the time, we went out together with friends, we watched movies, etc. But hes continued to ignore my texts/ doesnt make effort to see me. Every time I try to tell him how i feel about him not making an effort in general and on nights out, and social media etc, he usually gets angry/annoyed and makes me feel so bad. I dont know if he is afraid of fall in love, but he repeatedly went to silent non responsive, when I ask why, he always says he just been busy. I am really sad about it, because I know we love each other, but this relationship as it is doesnt satisfy me. I am often not successful but I realized in the last 1-2 years, it is him. Its sad when other give you the compliments that you are looking from in one person. I really i am lost and dont know what to do, love only gets old if he allows it, I have been trying to do sweet things for him aswell by making him a nice meal and texting him good morning and just checking up on him but I guess he seems rather bored. But when we got home, there was another fight awaiting us. He sounds lazy and you sound unhappy. Now, I dont know all the details of this, but I would say that hes pushing you away unintentionally while trying to cope with the loss of his father. ANGRY ALL THE TIME. I visit him at work a couple nights a week and bring him dinner as he works second shift. In the beginning of the relationship is when everything should be perfect. I didnt see him so I thought maybe he didnt want to show up. You need to allow yourself to do something else. This person flakes when we have plans even after I said that Im not here for that. SO , I DONT KNOW BUT IM FEELING AT THE END OF MY ROPE. dont know if you guys familliar with Myasthenia gravis.. its an auto immune decease which makes your muscle gets weak. From what i have learned about him, I know he is someone who does not really know what dating is. And then he apologize to me and said he just feel pitty of me. That doesnt only mean that hes He doesnt come over, we dont go on dates. It helped me calm down. Its so annoying because Im a feminist but I just want to feel secure. I told him I loved him and the only reason why I would ever leave him is if he cheated on me. Meaning if he doesnt step up when you pull back. im still giving him a 100 up till today. Hi, you should not be with this person. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. I dont think he will change. We dont even have a date on when we decided to be together. Haha. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 8 months. Not to mention, our second date was going to look at a puppy he was looking at after meeting my dog. Think about your dream guy, and you will find him. So many thoughts, so many scenarios. Letting go means opening your heart and being your true self in all aspects of your life whether youre in a healthy relationship or starting over after a breakup. But after reading the article I realize that Ive just been complaining but I have never taken out the time to ask him, what a healthy happy relationship looks like to him, what his definition of effort is, or what kind of life does he want us to live, with me planning everything for us or what he wants. I have tried to express my feelings over and over, but I still get nothing. Im just a girl whos watched a fair amount of psychology videos, but I hope that this advice helps you!! It just seems like a cliche movie begining or something. Here we are stuck in the same pattern, he is hot and heavy in our relationship one month, then goes cold out of nowhere. This all happended 1 1/2yrs back.. From that day on, several times we discussed this. Me and him were in that I rlly like you stage lol. I mentioned it many times, cant wait to get home and eat what youve made & have dinner with you! Hes the opposite. Hes never really posted pictures of us on social media and hes been very non intimate. He also doesnt seem as interested in what I have to say anymore. The fact that you can recognize how unhealthy his argument style is, but he cant, means youre a mismatch. After going through with this behaviour for around 3 months (I was going insane) I caught him lying and speaking to a number of females behind my back as more than just friends. We spent four weekends together at his place and virtually every day together on a mutual project for a month. He makes comments like some of us work for a living which is one of his huge baggage in life- the fact that hes a greedy mother $#_&@ and chose to be a workaholic and have no life even in his 20s so he expects everyone else to do the same. funny and stupid for I was foolish to be trapped with his flowering words. But in the last month, I have noticed that I am always initiating meeting with him, and he would suggest in the very same day or at the spare of the moment for me to pass by his place and we end up spending 2 hours or so with each other having sex and then I leave because one of us has a commitment. He does not even get up in the morning and brush his teeth, put on deodorant ,etc. Then keep being the fabulous person that you are. At first, he was working, seeing his daughter, making me coffee in the morning, starting my car for me, doing dishes, and laundry and now ten months in, he lost his job, and I have no idea if hes looking for a job. I guess what im really confused about is, Is he really just being comfortable or is he thinking that i would never leave him ( he knows) so it dosent matter how he treats me or how much effort he puts in? Days have past he ask to have sex with me I really like him and agreed to have just a fun sex. His golden excuse is Im busy. Its always laying on the couch watching TV. Easier said than done, I know, but you wont regret it. After that he chatted me that hes sorry he didnt give the money and I said im not accepting money for sex. You are worth it. When he wants to intimate with me i have told him severl times i do not trust you,because i couldnt forget that incident. I MEAN EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN LIFE BUT I WOULD INSIST ON HIM CHANGING THE DRINKING NOW OR LATER YOU COULD BE LIVING MY LIFE. If you havent recognized it yet, you are in an abusive relationship. Ive been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years now, i love him and I know he loves me back but, my biggest insecurity is him changing and being lazy in the relationship, which I have noticed he has been doing lately. Its a painful truth. Then we usually get in an argument and sometimes we break off for about a week. We must set boundaries and let no man cross them. ive been always the understanding one. We got in a fight because I said I was upset because he hadnt made time for me in the last week. Fine, dont come. So he does nothing. He always makes his schedules according to his friends schedules and if I wanna spend any time with him I have to change my schedules. When he is sad I quit everything to cheer him up. Lately he seem a bit distant,he will pick my calls and reply my messages when he is in a meeting,now he complains that it upsets him a bit when i text him when he is in a meeting.. Were both still full time students living at home. Just because he's hot and cold doesn't mean he isn't attracted to you and is backing out. work game sleep. You have to be more understanding. because that can be so self-fulfilling trust me). For example, do you expect your boyfriend to text you five times a day or call you first thing in the morning and last thing before you fall asleep? Oh n did i mention that i literally have NOWHERE ELSE TO GO? Ive mentioned his lack of effort and he did take it on bored but recently Im seeing a slip into his old ways. Whenever I go anywhere its just me and the kids! it just makes me sad. Our plan for celebrating our anniversary like its nothing? Well, a few weeks have gone by and the love languages and arguing and overall communication has been better. Not material things, but being romantic on special occasions. I hope this helps! he has a 9-5 job and all he ever wanna do is go home and game after and its not that i mind but is it rlly hard to jst have dinner w me for once? Maybe he was tired or stressed out, maybe the honeymoon stage was simply over. I am secretary saving money to leave. I think this self reflection is important to ensure I dont repeat this again. Letting Go of Someone You Loveis filled with comforting, practical ways to heal your heart. I love him but Im not fully happy with all this lazy effort ?. Its going to make me fall out of love as he is so defensive and cannot solve the issue. Hello Crystal, I am very interested in what you have said, do you mind to give more details please? He also gave me his hat. I feel like I could spend my life with him if it were not for one issue that has always popped up. All relationships are unique. Mildly work related topics but no reason for the call other than chat and vent. Thats something you need to know. I tried to be understanding and not ask for a lot but it just got worse. Weve knwon each other since high school because my bestfriend has relationship with him. It may be time to reassess your relationship. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below! Im very worried and actually considering going to where he is and seeking answers. I feel it has been one sided in many ways and all he has given me is monetary odds and ends to compensate for the lack of emotional effort on his part. He doesnt reply to you, so he doesnt deserve to know youre going to find someone else. However, if my boyfriend was gaming with another girl I would have broken up with him. Also, and Im not materialistic by any means, hes offered to buy me lots of things or even just give me money to help with bills. He never seems to try, you know. What do I do? Everyone always says how Couples always fight, but that was never us. I dont understand the change in behavior, at all. I met this guy 6months ago we were happy and everything was going well, until last week Friday.He went out with his friends and he came back in the morning. I dont think what Im asking for is difficult to do that it would take months to see any results. We no longer sleep in the same bed, he has chosen to sleep on the couch. Disappointment is a strong emotion to deal with. So what I want to know is do this guy and me still have a chance to fix things? This became such an issue that, we fight basically every days I do everything to make his life easier. I stayed in that relationship. Please help me , I have the same situation weve been dating for a year and 3 months and its the exact same way idky doe . Ive been with my mate for 8 years prior to dating we were band mates .I knew him to be extremely introverted and not the happy go lucky type but I honestly had no idea it would be like pulling a tooth without novocaine to get any emotional response, support or growth,out of him!I feel stunted and see my life ever changing and evolving yet his ,the same .He has taken on many of my attributes oddly ,yet I feel, Ive gained nothing in return. I asked him why he didnt and I wasnt yelling I only needed just an explanation. Tonight was my last straw.. We just celebrated our 9 months of being together last Sept. I just dont feel like he loves me , why am I with him & what is he not getting ? I keep trying to tell myself this is just a bad patch until I finish school and get a full-time job again- now that hes finally got a new job and should be happy. we havent dated for long (~3.5 months) so i could be overreacting, but at the same time, im tired of the lack of effort on his end. He snaps at me more now that we live together and anytime I try to bring up my sensitive feelings they are dismissed as drama he cant handle. I am not sure what to think or how to react, I really like him and he is a good respectable person. He never compliments me, from my perspective he only tells me when Im not doing something right. Hes him. After that I had to go home cause it was starting to get dark. Theres little to no effort. Interestingly I dont really like his love, yet Im the one trying to maintain a sex life and hes the one being cold and avoidant? I dont do things just to expect it in return but you just want reassurance that youre appreciated. Its too much. He is playing you and gas lightning you! Ive been with my boyfriend since July of 2020. We then will start to accept crumbs and feel sick inside. Ironic the 6th year anniversary I spoke of then is on Monday and we were supposed to be celebrating by going to the place we went on our first date tomorrow, instead, because they arent open on Mondays. If you feel like hes avoiding you and youve tried to get his attention and it hasnt worked, then dont insist Thats for a few reasons. My BF is of course devastated and angry. He stopped initiating sex and one day i found saved Google image searches under very specific terms saved on his phone and realized why i wasnt getting laid anymore. Ive mentioned the kissing thing to him a couple of times and so far, no real change. I have been working 70 hour weeks and I am doing an online MBA. Always cussed them out and called them names, and he works a whole day.. we are now behind on bills , our electric is over 300$ , our wifi is 170+$, we have another wifi bill from another company thats 200+$, and hes had multiple concussions and a broken hip from hockey a long time ago.. Hes become so inward that I have to question him daily and it hurts.. ? line and starts listing all the nice things he did recently. He said he had not thought about it and was not feeling well that day, so would think about it when he felt better and let me know in a few days. I waited though and suffered through almost being forced to move across the country when after he graduated and wanted a new job but couldnt find one- that was the only opportunity he had and was about to force me to uproot MY life, quit school, to go. He tries to make me think Im crazy when I talk him about it. Whereas if I was in his situation I would just leave (not during the lockdown). I had to call him! Needless to say, I do not want to get married, to see if that will make a difference. For the past few weeks we only have time in night to chat since hes busy for work but he always talk about sex and video chat with me to see my pussy and whenever I rejected him I dont get a reply or he would say hed go to sleep. I know he is under a huge amount of stress because of work issues and family issues We dont spend much time with each other since we are both extremely busy, however; I am always keen to plan my time so we could at least spend half a day with each other weekly or every two weeks. Youre still young and should take that same advice youd give your daughter. All I think of him is selfish & inconsiderate of everyones feelings but his own. I recently just been promoted to a great job.. my ex best friend told him everything and ever since then its been a nightmare. He knew everything about my family and their pictures but not for me. Every time I have to make the first move conversation and ask what to do, He has no idea. OMGrelate!! I feel that I am confused and disappointed. I am actually tearing up as I type those words, he actually said that to me. I really love him and care for him. But anyway recently it just feels like hes not trying to be romantic or even putting much in, Ik our situation is very complicated and he is probably dealing with his dad still but I have to help my nana everyday and I still make time for him, send him cute messages like I made some welsh cakes I was thinking I could drop some off and give you a little peck as kind of a joke and he just replied with no dont do that. He never wants to go anywhere or do anything. Hurt Feelings. Although I told him busy isnt excuse but he never changed his reasons, every time when I want wend the relationship, he replies straight away and tell me he dream about me, desire me etc. We are here Reach out. but when you asked him he keep saying i dont hate you i hate your attitude sometimes. We dont stay up on call anymore, and last night we were on call for forty minutes and thats only because I begged him; however, the whole time, not a single conversation came out of it. The man I end up with will not leave me hanging feeling sad and confused. Unless he drank to much then he was argumentative and yucky. Text messages are very slow to respond, I dont text him ten times a day either. We fight a lot almost every week because my needs are not met. Can Your Husbands Affair Be Good for Your Marriage? He came up with a lot of excuses such as traffic is bad, I have homework (hes a grad school), oh and the one that always gets on my nerve Im tired. 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